Jessica Mills
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  • Ask Me Anything on Tumblr

    I had a few questions posed in my Ask box on Tumblr yesterday.  This one really struck me, and I wanted to share it here.

    Anonymous

    When you suffer a set back, Personal or work related, do you sometimes feel the need to hurt yourself? sometimes it gets my mind off of it & I can restart. I know it is frowned upon but I just need to do it. Has anyone else talked to you about it?

    I think everyone gets overloaded sometimes.  Some people more than others.  It can be really tough to deal with, and everyone has their own way.

    I don’t feel compelled to do that, myself, but I know that there are a lot of people who do. Which is to say that you definitely are not alone.

    It makes me sad that you hurt yourself.  I don’t place judgement, believe me.  I don’t deal with things well at all, personally.

    When I get overly stressed, I tend to have rage issues.  I have broken many an inanimate object or sat in my car and screamed.  That tends to be what I fall back on.  The flip side are the days when I lay in bed and stare at the wall due to mental overload.

    Usually after that, I tend to rally and come back around.  I kind of think of it as a bit of a reboot.  Like my brain gets the spinning wheel of death, so I force quit for a day and the next day I’m good to go.

    I’m not sure my ways of “dealing” are any healthier than yours.  I do know that when I exercise regularly, drink less alcohol and lean on my good friends, I tend to flip out a LOT less.  Almost never, in fact.

    It’s hard.  It’s hard to be going through something and to feel totally alone.  Those are the times that we are the hardest on ourselves.  When we break perfectly good makeup mirrors (really, it was super nice. I smashed it on my perfectly nice desk, which then had a big hole in it. *sigh*), or we drink too much, or we hurt ourselves.  I think, more than the stress, it’s the feeling that we’re alone that makes us do those things.

    So I want you to know that you are not alone.  Not at all.  We’re all a little bit of a mess, no matter how put together we seem.  And there is someone you can turn to.  Even if it’s just a stranger on the internet who doesn’t turn here anon ask box off.  :-)

    So, I hope that maybe you’ll talk to more people about the things going on with you, and that maybe you’ll feel less alone.  And I hope that maybe I helped a little.

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